Sorry for the lack of information, it was 4am and literally as soon as i could stand up I grabbed the laptop just to record it for my own sake, had no intention to upload it here but I though might aswell..
Im still getting my head around what happened but Ill do another video in a day or two and try and go through what happened to me, as you can see here I wasnt in the right state to try and string a proper sentance together, i was still in owe, still bedazzled, astonished..
Words cant explain what I felt, where I went, what I saw.. This has truely changed my life, it turned my world upside down in just 10 minutes.. I went in for answers yet I came back with more questions..
Below is a text explanation of what happened that night:
I put some DMT in my vaporiser, I actually think i put a lot more than i normally did. My vapo is one of those bulb ones, i got it off the net, so i held it above a candle, the bulb filled up with smoke, i opened it up and took it all in one go.
So thats one hit, literally as soon as it entered my mouth I was physically jolted back, at this point i was sitting on the bed, so i was jolted back and so i was now lying down. This is 3 seconds from the moment i literally inhaled, i dont even remember exhaling.
At 5 seconds in im lying there looking at my feet, and they are flat and white, and my legs were the same, flat and everything looked like a 2D cartoon, the walls and furniture around me on my left side and right side were all just violently changing, by changing i mean they were moving, changing shape, colours changing and flashing and all sorts of patterns in the middle, everything around me was as if it was completely jumbled up and completely transforming, everything was just TOO MUCH too handle and I HAD TO close my eyes because it was just so unreal that my brain was literally having trouble understanding whats going on, like a computer overheating and freezing up!
At 10 seconds in I close my eyes and i hear this noise behind my head, as if it was coming from a far and approaching my head, all i could think was “what if im dying? am i dying? if i die whats my mum gonna think when they find me? are they gonna know i overdosed on DMT or not? and i started to analyse a scenario where iv died and they come to try and figure out what i OD’d on but they cant because since DMT is already made in the brain, are they gonna know i OD’d on DMT or not? hahaha funny i know but for some reason it was just going through my head.
At 15 seconds in i hear the noise getting louder and closer to my head, i then touch my heart and realise im still alive and tell myself its gonna be ok, just let go.. I then begin to see purple outlines in front of my closed eyes, as if im travelling through a tunnel made out of purple lines that keep changing and this noise keeps getting closer and closer and close, until
(note: my heart at this point was VERY VERY VERY calm and beating VERY slowly, i would have imagined seeing what i saw and going through that so fast with everything changing and me thinking im dead i would have expected my heart to be coming out of my chest, but no, not at all.. as if i had actually left my body and it was just maintaining itself at optimum efficiency.)
At 25 seconds in it reaches my head from behind and comes out in front of me and as soon as it leaves my forehead the sound bursts, or explodes in to silence, i know it doesn’t make sense but the sound literally exploded in to silence but also visually, as in i could SEE the sound become nothingness, and then for about 5 minutes i think (not sure) i was just inside this space filled with nothing, i was totally disconnected from this reality, i no longer had ANY attachments to this life, i was just there, just being nothingness.
I felt so much at peace that all i could do was laugh and cry at the same time physically. When i came out of it i was in owe, i was crying my eyes out and i closed my eyes to try to go back but it didn’t work, and i was back to reality, the visuals carried on for about 2 minutes but i was back just lying there thinking WHAT THE FUCKKK.
I recently came across a lecture by Alan Watts where he explained that nothingness is not a bad thing because everything comes from nothing, and so that nothingness is infact everything, we have misunderstood the word nothingness in my opinion, when we think of nothing we think of emptiness, but that emptiness is infact the energy everything is made of, so really nothingness is everything, and this experience that i had, i can honestly say i was nothing for about 5 minutes and it absolutely felt amazing, it felt like everything, even though it was nothing.
Thank you for reading
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